So someone the other day asked me, why tippytoes? Actually thats a complete lie no one asked me jack, but hey if Bush can lie about WMD’s in Iraq I can lie about one itty bitty little hypothetical question. Anyways, who cares its not like anything on the internet is real these days.
Back to it, so tippytoes. Its pretty simple. I walk on them. Not here and there, ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
I think there must have been an incident during the early developmental stages of my childhood that wired me this way, causing the triangular shape of my wide feet. Trying to find a proper fitting shoe is like hard, yes hard its 3am and I cant think of a better metaphor so deal with it. So thank you traumatic hidden experience that spurned such devilishly difficult feet.
But I mean I guess its not all that bad. I’m comfortable in heels (for the most part) and at concerts I can stand on them all night long without the slightest twinge, affording me a much better view than my flatfooted counterparts muahahaha.
But I live in Kuwait now, and as its a concert-less demon of a desert that use is pretty much null and void. So what am I to do now that 50% of my tippytoes’s superior characteristics are rendered obsolete leaving me as nothing more than a hollow embittered shell of my previous glorious self?
Evidently write run on sentences.